BATHROOMS
Best Bathroom to Drop a Deuce In: Limerick Pub – points for privacy, cleanliness and attentiveness—plus it’s unisex!

Cleanest Bathroom: Central de Autobuses

Most Pimpin’ Free Public Bathroom: Lloyd’s

Riskiest Bathroom to Take Your Kids: Gigante

Most Improved Bathroom Award: En Agua – new paint job, a working toilet seat, toilet paper, napkin and soap dispensers! It’s the new Ritz!

Most Interesting Bathroom Line: The Lounge (after 3:00am)

Most Full Service Bathroom: La Colonial (after 3:00am)

Most Adventurous Bathroom: La Cuca (anytime)

Best Bathroom for Woman’s Conversation: Pancho & Lefty’s / Lounge

Worst Bathroom: Still, the downstairs bathroom at La Jerga.

TACOS
Best Street Tacos: Don Tomás (On Calles Pepe Llanos y Mesones)

Best Sit Down Tacos: La Fogata (Salida Celaya)

Best Longaniza: Don Tomás

Best Taco Platters: Los Faroles

Best Lunchtime Deal: Burritacos

Best Burritos Stand: Calle Nueva


DINING
Best Steakhouse: Tío Lucas

Best Salad: Hecho en México

Best Seafood: Mariscolandia

Best Dessert: The Brownie at Hecho en México

Best Italian: La Landeta

Best Spanish: La Barcelonesa

Best Novue Mexican: La Felguera

Best Authentic Mexican: La Palapa (Carretera a Dolores Hidalgo)

Best Breakfast (High-end): Café La Parroquia

Best Breakfast (Low-end): Interior of the Mercado

Best Comida Corrida: Fondos (Parque Juárez)

Best Lunch Deal: BBQ Bob’s

Best Arrachera: Casa Payo

Best Ribs: Templo de San Arvino

Best Pizza: Romano’s

Best Lasagna: Juanita’s

Best Torta: Tortamundo

Best Hamburgers: El Fogón

Best French Fries: Chu-Chu Burger

Best Desert Delivery: Crepas de Cajeta from Gombos

Best Breakfast Gorditas: La Doña (Salida Celaya, across from Pemex)

Best Late Night Huaraches & Atole: After-hours at Victor the Carpenter’s Workshop (Corner of Insurgentes & San Antonio Abad)

Best Place to Eat at the Tianguis: The Green Chorizo Guy

Best Pozole: Alborada

Best Milkshake: La Compita (Salida Celaya, across from Pemex)

Best Cup of Coffee: Casa de Café (Hidalgo)

Best Evening Dining for Kids: Alborada

Best place to take your kids to eat and play: Pollo Feliz

Best Local Supermarket: Kike’s

Best Organic Produce: BBQ Bob’s

Best Deli: La Cava

Best Traditional Panaderia: La Colmena

Best Bread maker: El Maple

Best Pastries: El Petit Four

Best Cafetería: Cappuccino’s

Best Restaurant Micheladas: Mariscolandia

Best Restaurant Host: Max at Tio Lucas


BAR LIFE
Best Bar to Meet the Opposite Sex: Lounge

Best Bar to Meet the Same Sex: La Cuca

Best Monday Night Out: Jam Night at Bar 73

Best Tuesday Night Out: Alter Ego

Best Wednesday Night Out: Pulcazo at En Agua

Best Thursday Night Out: Start Lunch at Tio Lucas, listening to Trio los Amigos from 3 – 5:00, stay for happy hour and then Dinner while listening to the Jazz Cats from 9 – 11:00

Best Friday Night Out: DJ Audiochef (En Agua) then La Cuca

Best Saturday Night Out: Pancho & Lefty’s / Lounge

Best Sunday Night Out: Rent out Las Grutas or Escondido

Best Bar Deal: Jueves de Botana at La Cuca

Best Bar Micheladas: Lu (En Agua)

Highest Price to Lowest Alcohol Ratio: El Ring

Lowest Price to Highest Alcohol Ratio: La Cucaracha

Best Beer Specials: $10 peso Michelada’s at the seafood joint El Vikingo

Most Attractive Male Bartender in Town: Alejandro (Limerick)

Most Attractive Female Bartender in Town: Lolita (Lounge)

Hardest Working & Most Unappreciated Bartender in Town: Lu (En Agua)

Best Hippie Rasta Barman: Emiliano (En Agua)

Best Bar Host: Patrick (Finnegan’s)

Best Happy Hour: La Biblioteca—cuz it’s 2x1 ALL DAY LONG!

Best Margarita: Tio Lucas (they should come with a warning label, “may cause blindness”)

Best Pub: Finnegan’s


BAR LIFE
Chillest Cantina: El Gato Negro

Shadiest Lighting: En Agua

Best Kept Secret: Topos

Best Place to Pick a Bar Fight: La Cuca

Best Place to See Screeching Gringa Dancing on a Table: Mama Mia’s

Best Place to Pick Up Your Underage-and-Drunk-Off-Her-Ass-Gringa-Daughter, Panties Wrapped Around Her Ankles while Being Groped by Three Men: Mama Mia’s

Best Jukebox: La Cuca

Most Available and Free Pool Table: Backyard Patio of Pancho & Lefty’s

Best Marilyn Monroe Collection: El Gato Negro

Best Drunk: Fechis

Best Fresas: El Grito

Best strip club in town: Alter Ego (for it’s hands-on approach)

Hottest Strippers: Fiesta Charra

SPORTS & RECREATION
Best Place to Watch a Soccer Match: Mama Mia’s

Best Place to Watch Monday Night Football: La Vida

Best Place to Watch the Super Bowl: La Vida

Best Place to Watch Any Particular Game on Demand: Manolo’s

Best Place to See Two (or Three) Dogs Fucking: any corner on Refugio

Best Place to See Two (or Three) Realtors Fucking: any corner in Los Balcones

Best Rooftop to Watch Someone Die During Paplonada: La Terraza

Best Gym: Sportscenter

Best Swimming Pool: Taboada (weekday mornings)

Best Daytime Hot Springs: Las Gruttas

Best Nighttime Hot Springs: Escondido

Best Water Park: Xote

Best Basketball Courts: Parque Juárez

Best Place to Skate: Parque Juárez

Best Place to Get Shit on by a Bird: Parque Juárez

Best Place To Host Your Wedding Reception: El Chorro

Best Day Trip: Comonfort

Best Place to Take Someone on a Picnic and Then Have Them Killed: Pozos

Best Place to Stay During Sanmiguelada: Guanajuato

Best Adventure Tourism: Bici Burro

Best Place to Buy Overpriced Mexican Folk Art: Zoho

Best New Gallery: La Galeria Aurora

Most Luxurious B&B: Dos Casas

Best All Around B&B: Casa de la Cuesta

Best Place to Stay When You Can’t Get Into Your House: Mesón Villa Reyes

Best Place to Lose Your Kids: the Tianguis

Most Adventurous Horse Riding Guide: Chi of Tres Senores

Best Secret Society: The Croquet Club


EDUCATION
Best Spanish School: University of Guanajuato, Gto.

Best Drawing & Painting Classes: Keith Keller’s La Escuela

Best Jewelry Classes: Billie King

Best Place to Learn Spanish Without Having to Pay for It: La Cucaracha

DATING
Best First Date: St. Augustine’s

Best Place to Pickup a Girl: Lounge

Best Place to Get Picked Up By a Guy: La Cuca

Best Place to Pickup a HOT Chick Over 50: Harry’s (Wednesdays, after 2x1 martinis, EVERYBODY starts looking good!)

Most Romantic Setting: the patio of La Capilla

Best Make-Out Point: Hills Below Las Tres Cruzes

URBAN PLANNING
Most “Colonial” Street: Chorro

Best New City Program: The Trash Cans

Best Colonia: San Antonio

MUSIC
Best Local Band: Pila Seca

Best Blues/Rock Cover Band: Voodoo Chile

Best Mexican Rock Cover Band: La Sabvia

Best Place To See Some Skinny English Dude Belting Out R. Kelly Songs: Bar 73

Best Ranchero Group: Gallos Madrugadores

Best Place to Hear Live Jazz: Tio Lucas

Best Jazz Band: The Jazz Cats

Best Salsa Band: Son Candela

Best Spanish Guitarists: Gil Gutierrez & Lobo

Best Hip-Hop DJ: Audio Chef

Best Reggae DJ: Reggae Paul

Best Electro DJ: Cielo

Best Trip-Hop DJ: Saul

Best Scratch Artist: Peluzza / Mimoso

MISCELANEOUS
Best Dressed Dog: Bebe

Coolest Street Dog: El Patron – black dog, white feet, broken front right leg, throws doggie gang signs as he walks down the street

Best Car Wash: ‘Matrix’ (Sterling Dickinson)

Most Reasonable & Reliable Package Service: Mark Bartell

Biggest Fantasy: The Jack Nicholas Golf Course

Best Place to Score Condoms After Midnight: Truco (Mesones & Hidalgo)

Best Video Store: Video Centro (Hernandez Macias)

Best Place to Buy a Bootleg (and we mean anything): El Tianguis

Most Obscure Tourist Attraction: The monkey on a chain in San Antonio

Best Place to Buy a Newspaper: The Big Guy, Bernabé González, in the Jardín

Best Place to Find Something New, Used or Stolen from Your House: El Tianguis

Best Open-Air Insane Asylum: El Jardin

Best Door To Knock at 6:45am and Expect There to be a Party: The La Jerga Office

Best After Hours: The Pimp Pad aka The Penthouse

Best Place to Score Liquor After-hours: La Estrellita

Best Place to Catch a Late Night Cab: The La Jerga Sitio

Best Place to Burn One: Charco/Espinos Cave

Best Hena Tattoo: Mara

Best Dentist: Dr. Berrospe (Hospital de la Fe)

Best Volkswagen Mechanic: Toño el Mugroso

Best Overall Mechanic: Billy Sydney

Best Guide Book To San Miguel: “The Best of San Miguel de Allende” by Joseph Harmes