You’re stuck in the
heartland of Mexico. Kicked out of Querétaro, an unwelcome
sight in SMA, too intimidated by DF, and too far from the beach.
What to do? Unbeknownst to most, the Mosca is smart and always flies
towards the sun. In this case the ol’ radar said {In whispering
mind tone} “state capital; get to the state capital; Guanajuato,
Guanajuato.” {In normal mind tone} “That seems like
a plan.” {Repeat whispering mind tone} “Guanajuato,
Guanajuato.” {Out loud, in deep, Brazilian-wrap-around-sunglasses-wearing
tone} “Let’s roll.”
On arrival I land at El Botañero (Corner of Alonso
and Barranca, Centro). As a rule I tend not to like sports
bars, but this one seems to slip past the radar nice and quiet like.
The layout is pleasing to the untrained eye, and the staff hear
my cries about the great Mexican black bear - Marvelous. El Botañero
will more than handle your sporting event-watching needs on any
given Sunday, or serve as a humble start to the night. Who knows
though, maybe after hours the poles come out, the signal is given,
and all hell breaks loose. Keep a dirty eye on this one. Oh, as
a bonus it lives up to its name with some tasty complimentary snacks
for your invigoration requirements.
Now I gotta admit I am a softy for locations that are sub-terrain.
Be it a bomb shelter, hidden lair, or hole of some kinda creepin’
crawlin’ thing; place half of it beneath the earth’s
crusty and I like it, I like it a lot. In the same vein, I like
to make out with ex-girlfriends, but that is always doomed to end
in heartbreak. Ocio (Av. Juárez two doors from the
Bancomer, Centro) has a style which borrows a little from
both these camps. I love the sub-t feel, but it is for no profit
at the end of it all. The walls tell me however that you never know
when crazy luck will be unleashed upon thee, so I would add it too
my ‘call by for a quiet one and see what is happening’
list. On this night it was not, so let’s buzz.
If you can’t find a little somethin’-somethin’
in between the air gaps of the multiple floors of Bar Ocho
(Constancia No.8, behind Teatro Juárez, Centro),
your eyes must be poked out or in some kinda haze of stupid reality.
Here you might find two angels to match the beautiful capillas you
see out of the second floor balcony. Maybe you will go crazy talking
to people of suspect gender. Maybe you will play pool like a bitch
and win the world. Maybe. Quien sabe? The magic of Bar Ocho is you
never know. Walk in the door, climb the stairs, and see what happens.
Earns a brown star on the Mosca scale.
[Editor’s Black-Out Alert: La Mosca completely forgot we also
visited La Dama de Las Camelias (Sopeña No.16 between
the houses numbered 30 y 34, Centro). It was the over-40
salsa class night at La Dama. It might have been a good time, but
we’ll never know, because La Mosca immediately got into an
argument with the wait staff when they refused to haggle over the
price of their vodka. The decision to flee came suddenly.]
Los Lobos (Sopeña No.17, Centro) may have
been closed for the night, but is worth a mention. This is a nice
bar with good music and chilled people. Call anyone a cabron and
just slide.
As the worm turns, Bar Fly (Sóstenes Rocha 30, next
to Teatro Cervantes) is the last bar frequented. It’s
full of fun-loving, pretty, stylish, neo-hippies and the setup of
the place is top notch. The food menu looked delightful and enticing,
and had an impressive selection of Thai food - though no kan kien
wan gai, a minor over sight. Also it would be great to see some
Indian food on the list, this would put the place off the wall,
Jacko styles and all. What there is is an impressive hookah collection
and jingly live music, which on the night was in an appropriate
groove. A spot well worth landing for a tipple, but just be ready
for the mass-conforming non-conformists.
At the end of it all I was as happy in Guanajuato as a fly in shit.
The drive from Guanajuato to SMA is a delight in itself, and worth
the price of admission alone. Hell, there even appears to be some
daylight stuff to do, for those freaks that are so inclined.
Just remember, the kind folk that take you on your spiritual journey
need your support & love. How best to display this? A nice phat
tip the size of which would put John Holmes (or the Mosca de Bar)
to shame. Want to provide guidance to the Mosca de Bar? e-Mail the
details of your favorite watering holes to mosca@lajerga.com.
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