Kinky
by Stucco Steve
(Author’s note:
First I can’t believe it’s been 31 years. I just had
a sudden urge to reach for a walker or call a nurse. 31 years! To
an old rock n’ roller that’s equvalent to 43 lifetimes.)
 12/31/73
– I was on one of my first out of town stage calls on the
crew for the new years eve show at Market Hall in Dallas. I lobbied
hard for the gig because my favorite band was the headline act –
Leon Russell & The Shelter People joined by Reverend Henderson
and The Heavenly All-Stars. It was a big deal! 32,000 in the crowd.
To say it was a party would be an extreme understatement.
The first act to go on that night were totally unknown and seemingly
out of place –Willie Nelson & The Family Band. We snoozed
backstage or talked up the groupies. The 2nd act was huge in Texas
and everybody was rooting for the local locos. Their name was Kinky
Friedman & The Texas Jewboys, the only group I know who actually
appeared more outrageous than their song titles. Silver glittery
suits with matching ten gallon hats. While Kinky smoked a 12 pound
cigar he led the band through Jewboy standards such as Sold American,
They Ain’t making Jews like Jesus Anymore and Get Your Biscuits
in The Oven and Your Buns in the Bed.
So why reminesce and drag you into this personal memory? It’s
this. 15 years ago I was in Austin and noticed that Kinky and Bobbie
Nelson (Willie’s sister and piano player) were playing at
The Saxon Pub. The Saxon could squeeze 250 people in if 50 were
content to stand. Between sets Kinky, Bobbie, me and my cosmic Austin
gypsy bunny sex poodle had dinner together. I mentioned 1/31/73.
Kinky dropped his fork and said, “God, that was 43 lifetimes
ago”.
 At
this time Bobbie got quite animated in protest of her experience
in Dallas. Of course, so did Jackie Kennedy. The experience Kinky
and I had was euphoric and we both went overboard in our praise
of what we remembered.
Flash-forward to 2005. Someone I’ve known all my adult life
is running for Texas Governor. Kinky! Who do you think I’m
voting for? Like Jessie Ventura, Kinky is running as an independent.
Therein lies the problem, at least in Texas that is. If an independent’s
war chest was converted to gasoline there wouldn’t be enough
to run an ant’s putt-putt around a BB. I’m urging all
my friends registered to vote in Texas to call their friends and
spread the word. Forget those big buck candidates. Vote your heart!
You can read about Kinky’s candidacy online. A Google search
will bring up his website and there you can get the Kinky view of
things. Kinky is a novice, he might not have all the answers but
ask your self this. How can you be against a guy that has these
views:
“Kinky for Governor – How Hard Could It Be?”
“It’s Time For Dome Improvement”
“Kinky’s platform: None, however he has a series of
notions”
Electing Kinky couldn’t be worse than the blow-dried candidates
running against him. He put the job in it’s proper perspective
when he said, “Being Governor is a lot like being judge at
a chili cook-off, you weigh the good with the bad and keep the contest
and the arguments on an even keel.” Tell me fellow Texans,
isn’t it time we got Kinky! Vote! And let’s get Kinky!
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