It’s not everyday a celebrity wedding happens in San Miguel. It’s only every other day. But the small burg on the mountain was ablaze with gossip and hype, enraptured for over a week, for the event of the year. For one of it’s own most famous, Bebe, had fallen for a leather bound bad boy, Yougi.

So with all the pomp and circumstance I fondly recall from that of Princess Di’s marriage, the spectacle that was to be the first pet wedding of San Miguel got it on doggy style.

LJ: So where’s the happy couple going now?
Jo: We’re not going to tell—it’s a secret!



LJ: How are the bride and groom today?
Man: They’re horny.
Woman: The bride and groom are doing wonderfully, they’re looking
forward to their wedding night. They plan on not having babies together.
LJ: No? Are they going to consummate the wedding?
Woman: Mommy and daddy will watch, make sure it’s done correctly. They plan on not having babies together though.
LJ: Excellent. How long were they dating before they decided to—
Woman: Oh, they’ve been dating, uh what, about 6 months—nine months.
LJ: Pretty fast. But I guess that’s not that fast in dog years.
Woman: They did a quickie wedding earlier.
LJ: Justice of the peace?
Man: The honeymoon was in Pozos.
Woman: We rented out a whole hotel in Pozos for one night.
Man: How many Chihuahuas did we have in Pozos?
Woman: 8 Chihuahuas and 16 people. We took over the whole hotel.
LJ: Your dog just drooled on my microphone.



Woman: He’s a Bichon, his name is Benji.
LJ: Is he directly involved in the wedding?
Woman: He’s giving the bride away.
Man: Oh look! He’s getting excited already! (dog takes a piss)



LJ: What’s your name?
Young Man: Cheryl.
LJ: Where are you from?
Young Man: Holland.
LJ: So you came all the way from Holland just for the dog wedding?
Young Man: Uh, yeah.

LJ: Did you come from Holland too?
Young man2: No.
LJ: Then I don’t want to talk to you.
Young man2: I’m from England.
LJ: What’s your name?
Young man2: Mine name is Leigh.
LJ: Leigh, you came all the way from England just for this?
Young man2: I’m glad I did.



LJ: Are they going to have kids?
Chuck: No, no. There’s a prenuptial agreement. Un Bebe, solamente.
LJ: In the event of a divorce what kind of settlement would they have?
Chuck: We’re already starting to plan the divorce because we’re going to have another party for the divorce. Then we’re going to have a reconciliation party. But no bambinos.
LJ: Probably better this day and age.
Chuck: This is a modern marriage. They’ve already had the honeymoon in Pozos.
LJ: Are they both working non-parents?
Chuck: No, neither of them work. They’re both a bunch of bums. They live off—
LJ: Bebe does a lot of photo shoots though doesn’t she? I would hardly call that not working.
Chuck: Bebe works, she sells her calendars and her Christmas scarves.
LJ: I think Bebe would beg to differ that that’s not work.
Chuck: She gets free champagne.
LJ: Life is good for Bebe.
Chuck: Life is good for Bebe, yeah. Everyone in this room wants to be
reincarnated as Bebe.
LJ: Congratulations.
Chuck: Gracias, gracias.

LJ: So what do you think about this whole dog wedding business?
Sophie (5 years old): It’s good.
LJ: So would you marry your dog?
Sophie: No.
LJ: No? Why not? It seems like the right thing to do these days. You know everyone’s getting married younger...
Sophie: (silence)



LJ: So what about this other cast of characters, who do we have here?
Woman: We have Bishop and Oliver, who belongs to the Reverend who’s giving today’s blessing.
LJ: Bishop looks a little shaky. Cold feet?
Woman: Yeah, he’s a puppy and then Ollie was a rescue. He’s the pedal dog.
LJ: The pedal dog? Who’s the ring dog? Did someone forget the ring dog? Who do we have here?
Woman: This is Paco and Penelope.
LJ: Paco & Penolope? Paco looks absolutely dashing tonight...What about these three, what happened to them? There seemed to be a little scuffle there...
Woman: This is the groom...

LJ: Where are you from?
Nick: Arkansas.
LJ: You came all the way from Arkansas just for this?
Nick: Of course. This is the first dog wedding I ever heard of and I had to be in.