After spying them pretty
lights over at the Plaza Civica, I decided I needed to have me a
look. Before me lay a cornucopia of what appeared to be everyday
objects in candy form. So I pooled my drinking money together and
forwent a night at La Cucaracha to bring you this Day of the Dead
candy review, because I figure I was the only fool in town who would
actually eat this stuff.
 Classic
Skull – Pretty much the staple candy at all of the
booths and tiangis in town. Thank god it was hollow. The pure rush
of sugar cascading over my teeth in a shower of soon to be dentist
appointments was only equal to the odd texture and taste. Somewhere
in the realm of if there was dry wall made out of flavorless smarties.
The “icing” on the skull was just the same pure sugar
insanity. Overall, I would have this once a year, which luckily
is just how often they are around.
 Baby!
– Look at me; I got a baby in my mouth! I am putting your
baby in my belly! Candy Baby in a Blanket was a steal for a single
peso. Tasting of vanilla and the cream candy I vaguely remember
from my youth sold by the local Catholic Church, I could go for
several of these bite size darling babies. Hell, kill a whole nursery
and bring me the little bodies so I can tear them asunder with my
mighty mandibles
 Hamburger
Delight – Seeing me with my bag of sugar shaped objects,
Dick Webber at Romano’s hooked me up with a hamburger candy
item. While completely different in texture, more like a spongy
gummy bear, it was still in the house of odd candy. Tasting like
part gummy tomato and cherry, it was by far the best of the items.
But it did take three washings to get the goo off the knife.
 Coffin
Man – That’s right, you can either pull off
the head for a quick treat or devour him body and soul coffin and
all. It looked like a pipe to me, though, and I guess it actually
worked. This one had more flavour than the skull, but unfortunately
the taste was like a combination of old fake candy cigarettes and
Pepto. The head also makes a nice monocle.
Orange Chicken Surprise – The surprise is
I am still eating this crap. The orange sugar coating was actually
rather good, being the best of the hard candy types. Tasting as
if they had made those Flintstone’s Orange Ice Cream push-ups
in Pixie Stix form and sprinkled them on top of hard wedding cake
icing, it was not overwhelming and delivered the lowest amount of
sugar into my already bloated system.
Evil Sheep of Death – Ouch, that’s
all I can say. I can crack pecans and some other nuts easily in
my mouth, but this vile thing would not budge. I finally had to
use a knife (after the fork bent) as a hammer to break it apart.
This is also the most popular item in grande form. Why, oh why?
Definitely doubles as a weapon, or a funny joke to sell a gringo
to see if he will actually eat it. |
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