La
Jerga Games
Hello all, I'm good old
Hiroshi Greenbag, longtime friend of La Jerga, video game maker
and reviewer. I always said, the only way to talk shit about games
when reviewing them is to have the ability to make them yourselves.
I hope soon gaming companies figure out I have moved to a mountain
in central Mexico and send more to play, but in the meantime, here
are some of mine to enjoy. We also might add other peoples soon
too.
Emo Fresa
Paper Dolls
Are you ready to make your ultimate social climber? Can you truly
master the fashion to be VIP at the next Austin TV show? Do you?
Make both the girl and boy version, maybe we will combine them later
for a metrosexual paper doll. But dont hold your breathe. (Flash)
 When
Slugs Attack
Yes, I have blatantly ripped offer Space Invaders here, a classic.
Basically, you are a saltshaker trying to stop the slow assault
of slugs. What does this have to do with La Jerga? Absolutely nothing.
Enjoy. (Shockwave)
 Bongs
Away
Okay, this game really dates itself with the Janet Reno falling
from heaven. Remember when the worst thing we had to worry about
was if Reno might burn down around cult, as opposed to the whole
country? Ah, the good old days. This was based on Ka-Ka-Ka-Boom,
an Atari game where you had to catch bombs or, well, ka-ka-ka-boom.
Grab the jays and the nugs and avoid the cops and Ms. Reno, and
the soothing sounds of this one will make that pre-bong hit all
worth wild. (Shockwave)
 Crack
Rocks from Beyond
Duh, Asteroids. I mostly made this one to put physics into one of
my games. There is an ending to this one, also a first. And yes,
a crack head did the graphics, enjoy. (Shockwave)
 Bush
Ball
Okay...this one got me in a bit of a spot in old Madison Avenue.
They said, "Give us something that is political, edgy and over
the top." So I re-created Breakout, but instead of bricks you
need to hit baggies of coke to kill enough brain cells to become
President. The old knocker takes a beating in the Ivy League college
days. I'm sure Carnivore loves this game. (Shockwave)
Revolution
was not Televised,
Nor did it get 5% of the votes
I never was the biggest fan of Ralph Nader, but I sure thought he
deserved to be on the ballot. I noticed that the media was more
against him than for him, and here I am thinking the echo chamber
was suppose to be neutral. This is also my most complicated game.
So here are the rules. You are playing Risk here people, but instead
of armies you got grassroots supporters versus spinning media shock
troops. You can move more supports into another state once you got
them on the ballot and you can only try and get Nader on the ballot
from a state directly connected to the state you were attacking
from. Seriously, this is the layman's term version.
So once you over take all the media controlled states, and have
Nader on the ballot, you will only get 5% of the vote anyway, so
it was all pointless. Looking back, I should have Florida into a
fortress. Same with Texas. Enjoy. (Shockwave)
Salt for
Slugs Shooting Gallery
I once worked for one of the most notorious underground magazines
on the planet, Salt for Slugs. Under the direction of James Bernard,
the Slug empire grew to a world-wide domain, until the great salt
shaker from the sky came down and smited it. But a few of the slugs
lived, and now is your chance to kill them off. And kill them off
you must. (Shockwave)
Tic Tac Doh!
Ahh, a classic. Ric Flair versus the famous General Jack Mitchell
in a delightful game of Tic-tac-toe. If you need help with rules
on this one, you should not not even be on this page. (Flash)
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